Insomnia and energy

So I woke up at around 3am and it seems I'm not going back to sleep any time soon. I've never had insomnia before (or as far as I can remember), so now I can say I really sympathise with those of you who have it. There's not much to do in the wee hours of the morning, except blog I guess. Or if you're my brother, playing games which involve world domination.

For those of you wondering why I'm up at this time, it's because I have cut down heavily on my pot use. Upsides include constant euphoria, feeling more, waking up easily in the morning, clear-mindedness and less pressure on my lungs. Downsides include writing this blog post at 4am. If anyone would like information on their pot use, withdrawal, and tips on cutting down or quitting, I found Know Cannabis very useful and straightfroward. Also, Addiction Dirkh has some more complex and neurological information on marijuana withdrawal.

Well... I have had an exhausting week. Not to say it's been shit, just very fast paced and crazy. It's definitely the full moon, this happens every time. Work is always busier and life is more hectic. I have hardly had the chance to talk to my boyfriend or write a blog post. Thank God for insomnia?

On that note, I'm not actually religious, but I do attend these weekly spiritual/meditation classes run by my cousin, who is also a psychic artist and an author. Check out his art and soul blueprints here. I'm really enjoying putting links in my text just so you know :) Anyway, this class pretty much turned me from self-loathing, cynical emo girl to an optimistic, world-loving hippy. This Wednesday's class was one of the more magical ones, let me tell you all about it.

I rocked up to the class, euphoric as ever, high off no pot (I still think this is funny). There was another Aquarian dude there who has also been bouncing off the walls all week, which helped me feel less crazy. But being an Aquarian, feeling crazy is sort of normal. Anyway, we were told we were going to bring up some negative emotions and express them through art. Art therapy, in a way. It wasn't really my ideal class at this stage because of how happy I've been, but I gave it a go. I went right into my heart and brought up a sadness that I had not acknowledged was still there. It was surprisingly easy to cry and draw it all out on paper. Once it was over, I recovered my good mood with a renewed sense of strength, feeling way more grounded. An amazing thing for me, always with my heads in the clouds. I realized that maybe why I've been so high is that I run away from my negative emotions. When I feel happy, I cling onto it like my life depends on it. But you know what? My life doesn't depend on it. I discovered I can still feel less desirable emotions and feel happy about life at the same time.

Lately, I have been feeling so much intense love for the world and everyone in it. All my emotion that I've pushed down with pot has come up. My fear has been replaced with courage, my loneliness has been replaced with oneness, and my anger has been replaced with sadness. Sometimes I feel like this is too much emotion for me to deal with at once. Even feeling the love has been exhausting, because I am constantly radiating it out to everyone around me. It has been a great couple of weeks, and I absolutely love having more than enough energy to share with those who have less. But I think I need to save some for myself, or at least put it into things I love or need to do, like my university studies (already falling behind, as usual), and... well, I don't know what else. I feel too guilty doing art, reading or music because I have uni work to do.

It's 4:20am... ;) But I will be going to sleep naturally now.

Love and Peace to you.